[ Exercise 1 ]

1. Engineers combine all inputs to create a product. [ more >>> ]
   
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   Switching from passive voice to active voice makes this sentence more direct, concise and persuasive.
2. Their approach includes three phases of analysis. [ more >>> ]
   
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   Like in the previous sentence, using passive voice makes the sentence wordy or indecisive. However, active voice makes the sentence more direct and clear.
3. The proposed procedures and Taguchi's two-step procedure are statistically compared. [ more >>> ]
   
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   Using a verb instead of a noun simplifies this sentence. Avoid sentences that contain phrases like "is made", "is done", "is performed", "is conducted", "is undertaken" and "is achieved". Such phrases often make the sentence unnecessarily long. Consider the following examples:
   Original
   Simulation of the program is done.
   Revised
   The program is simulated.
   Original
   Implementation of the program is performed.
   Revised
   The program is implemented.
   Original
   Optimization of the output is achieved.
   Revised
   The output is optimized.
4. The factor levels are more efficiently combined when the control factor is continuous. [ more >>> ]
5. Temperature, volume and weight cause saturation. [ more >>> ]
   
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   A writer should use strong verbs that imply a precise action. In this case, "cause" implies a more precise action than "include". Avoid overusing verbs like "make" "come" "take" "is" "are" "was" "were" which often have a general meaning rather than a precise one. Consider the following examples:
   
   Original (Unclear action)
   The purpose of this study is to understand the underlying factors.
   Revised (Clear action)
   This study attempts (aims) to understand the underlying factors.
   
   Original (Unclear action)
   The committee made a decision on what to do next.
   Revised (Clear action)
   The committee decided what to do next.
6. The Taguchi approach minimizes the average quadratic loss. [ more >>> ]
   
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   The verb "minimizes" is more precise than "entails minimizing".
7. Robust design has received considerable attention. [ more >>> ]
   
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   Writers should try to avoid sentences that start with "There" and "It" to save space and to achieve a greater emphasis. Consider the following examples:
   
   Original
   There are many programs available in Taiwan.
   Revised
   Many programs are available in Taiwan.
   
   Original
   It is possible to create many designs with the software.
   Revised
   Many designs can be created with the software.
8. The parameter settings significantly differ in terms of control levels. [ more >>> ]
   
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   In this revised sentence, not only does the writer avoid the "There is" sentence opener but also turns a general verb ("is") into a precise one ("significantly differ").
9. The committee decided whether using a mouse or a trackball in the workplace would be more productive. [ more >>> ]
   
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   The writer should try to avoid needless and redundant words and phrases that only make the sentence lengthy. In addition to using a strong verb that expresses a more precise action ("decided" instead of "made a decision"), the revised sentence uses a simpler word instead of a wordy phrase ("whether" instead of "the question as to"). Unit Six provides more examples of needless and redundant words and phrases.
10. As a rule, mice and trackballs are both used for the same reason. [ more >>> ]
    
    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Another form of redundancy is putting two words together that have the same meaning. Since "rule" implies something that is "general", the writer can easily cut this phrase in half by simply saying "rule" instead of "general rule".
    More examples are provided in Unit Six.